Life Lessons: Rhetoric
The other day in my Academic Writing class, we had to get together in small discussion groups and do a quick intro of ourselves before ripping each others essays to shreds (I mean, edit them). As I was talking with my 3 other group members, I noticed that one of the girls kept using the word “rhetoric”, but she was pronouncing it wrong, with the emphasis being placed on the second syllable rather than the first (the same way as you’d say “rhetorical”). I didn’t want to appear to be a know-it-all in the first five minutes of meeting this girl, even if I was about to (constructively!) criticize her essay, so rather than correcting her I instead used the word a few times, being careful to pronounce it the right way. I think she might have been under the impression that I was speaking incorrectly, because she started to use the word even more in her sentences, continuing to pronounce it the way she had originally done. As you can expect, I in turn did the same, with the result that we were both using the word “rhetoric” excessively and in no specific context.
This went on for quite some time, to no actual productive end.
After I left the class (and double-checked with the dictionary that I was getting the pronunciation right, myself), I began to wonder if I had done the best thing in not gently informing her of how to properly pronounce the word. After all, if she’s in the Rhetoric department at the university, she’s bound to use that word many times over the next few years, and likely with some important professors and other such people. So it’s probably a word that would be useful to know the correct pronunciation for.
I know that if I were pronouncing a word wrong and someone overheard me, I would want them to correct me immediately so that I would know for next time (especially because it’s really embarrassing, as a writer, to go on for some time pronouncing a word incorrectly!), and so that I wouldn’t humiliate myself in a more disagreeable situation. People in a heated argument delight when their opposition is grammatically incorrect and the like, and being able to speak clearly and correctly is absolutely essential for presentations and interviews.
However, I am also aware that other people might not be as concerned with pronunciation as I am, they might simply not care, or it might make them feel as though the person correcting them is just being a pompous . Which I also have no desire to come off as!
We all go through situations like this in life, where we are aware of our own preferences but are uncertain of others reactions and what they would like. And sometimes we need to make these judgment calls on our own, without consulting them first. After all, I couldn’t exactly say to her, “so, I’m pretty sure that you’re pronouncing a word wrong, would you like me to tell you how I think it’s supposed to be pronounced?”.
It’s something that is going to be case-specific, something that will be different for each individual. There is no one set of preferences that everyone is going to have, and you can’t make the assumption that everyone will want the same thing as you do. That’s the beauty of variety- its so accommodatig for all of us! But it can also be rather annoying when you’re unsure as to the best course of action to take.
At any rate, now I’m interested in what all of you have to say on the subject. Do you like being corrected (and I’m talking all aspects of life here, not just pronunciation!)? Are you quick to correct others and risk their wrath, knowing that they will appreciate it further down the road? Or do you go for the more roundabout approach and hope that they understand your hints?
Ah, yes, this is a conundrum. Growing up, my parents made it a point to correct us if we were mispronouncing a word. If they used a word we were unfamiliar with, rather than explain it, they would send us for the dictionary, reasoning that it would stay with us if we looked it up.
I’ve always appreciated my upbringing (in this and many, many other ways!)
Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way, so it’s difficult to know whether or not to correct them. It depends totally upon the situation. In the situation you described, I probably would have tried a slightly more direct approach and just said something along the lines “Gee, I always thought that word was pronounced rhetoric. Am I wrong?”
In a social situation, though, especially if there were several on-lookers, I would probably let it slide. No-one likes to be corrected in public. (Unless it is someone you know fairly well and can take aside to quickly correct them.)
I would do exactly the same as Bag Lady, just play dumb and go “Oh is it said that way? I always thought it was said this way…”
My problem is that if I’ve already taken a dislike to this person I’m very likely to then go off on an awful rant about “how terrible, what an idiot I am, how could I be so wrong…” then usually somebody else in the group will twig that I’m actually being a superbitch and I’ve then marked my card as Little Miss Sarcastic for the rest of our acquaintance.
I’m sure it’s only me that has the Devil in them like that though – anyone else would manage to do it perfectly kindly!
I don’t mind being corrected at all, I’d hate to think I was pronouncing something wrong over and over. But you’re right – it’s a very personal thing, and it needs a light touch!
TA x
I have been called a “Grammar Natzi” because I tend to correct people with their misuse of words. I have had to step back and ask myself…does it really matter in this situation? If not I don’t say anything. If somebody has a big piece of cheese on their face I would probably say something! Have a great weekend!
I swear, Tokaiangel, we are related!!!
(from one little miss sarcastic to another!!)
I think correction is good – I want to know when I say or do something wrong. I remember a time where I was up in front of a big group, reading from a script, which I had just received a few minutes before “showtime”. Some of the words were difficult, and one, even though I’d heard it before (I don’t recall the word right now), I drew a blank when I went to read it. I pronounced it, and it just didn’t sound right. In my case, there wasn’t really a way for others to help. But I wish there would have been, since the word came up two more times in the script – and I just couldn’t get it. Afterward, when talking to my wife, she corrected me (but it was over then).
So, long story short, I would like to be corrected…
Bag Lady- My family and I used to sit around the dinner table and look up random words in the dictionary and then try to guess what they meant. That is our kind of idea of fun:) I like your approach to the problem; its a clever way to make it sound as though you want them to correct you! And that way you can both find out which ones the correct way.
TA- the class that this happened in is a class which we have “discussions” for the whole session (which basically translates into passionate arguing). I think I carded myself as sarcastic fairly early on… you’re not alone! hehe.
Mark- good point! And now I’m wondering how likely I’d be to tell someone if they had a big piece of cheese on their face…
Lance- that must have been a frustrating situation! It’s so annoying when you just know that you don’t have it quite right but can’t figure out the exact way to put it.
I think it’s funny that both of you guys kept using the word on purpose because the other person was saying it differently. I probably would have stopped doing so if it were me, in hopes that she would stop saying it, too — someone pronouncing something incorrectly bugs me!
That being said…yes, I correct people when I know they’re saying something wrong. Just like you, I think they’d rather know so they won’t keep doing it. And I’m not a bitch about it (at least I don’t think so!), so I hope it’s okay with them. 🙂
Some words have dual pronunciations, but I don’t think rhetoric is one of them. Of course the British sound brilliant no matter what dribble they are saying due to their wonderful accent. Then there are words like the planet Uranus that only should be in writing, and never pronounced in public 🙂
Oh, my! You just took me back to my third grade classroom (I’m a grandma now), to an occasion when I was asked to read out loud. Although I was a pretty good student, I had never had occasion to hear the word “Nazi” pronounced, and of course, that word was in my reading material. I was totally embarrassed at the classroom’s loud laughter when I unknowingly said “Nays-eye.” To this day, I do not see or hear the word that I don’t go back to that third grade classroom and cringe.
Zandria- yeah, I can be bad for not being all that direct sometimes- clearly she has the same issue:) And I’m sure you’re very nice when correcting others!
Dr. J- Yes, those Brits can get away with saying just about anything and sounding intelligent. Sighs. I want my British accent back!
Gharkness- thanks for the comment! And sorry for the reminder:) Strange how those kind of things just stick with you for years and years, isn’t it?
I dont correct but like being corrected.
in a gentle loving nonembarrassing manner 🙂