Five things everyone should experience on their own
There’s something of a stigma in our society against doing things alone. You’re automatically “weird” if you need alone time, or it’s “inappropriate” to not want to spend every single moment with other people.
I enjoy being around others, but having alone time is also very important to me. For the next week or so, I’ll also be quite alone! The mother dear and the boyfriend are both leaving the city today for a week or two, the sistertraveller leaves the city on Monday for good, and three of my closest friends have also left the city for good in the past month. All of the people I spend the most of my time with will be away, and I’ll have to find other things to occupy my time (besides work. Because that’s important, but it would be ridiculous to work 24/7).
I think it’s really nice to do things with others, but I also think there are a few things in life that we should all do at least once by ourselves. There are some things that I do quite often by myself, and I’ll be doing a few of them over the next week while I’m alone.
These are my top five things that everyone should experience at least once on their own:
1) Going to the movies. One of the major frustrations with going to the movie theatre with a friend or a group of people is that, after the show, your perspective on the film is going to be very much influenced by your peers. Watching a movie by yourself allows you to really form your own decision on whether or not you liked it and why. If you go to a movie with the wrong person – as in, it’s not their style of movie – you aren’t going to enjoy it nearly as much. Similarly, if you watch a movie with someone and it isn’t your kind of movie, you might not like it as much as you think. Go to a movie alone and you’ll be able to really form a proper opinion of it. I go to movies all the time by myself and really enjoy it. Concerts and live theatre are right up there with movies as something you should try doing by yourself, too.
2) Going out for a meal. The reason why I think this is important is because we are always distracted by conversation when we go out for breakfast, lunch or dinner with a friend or a group. When it’s just you, you can really enjoy the food and eat slowly. Sure, you can have a book there or your work or something, but it’s nice to enjoy your meal in silence, simply appreciating the food. I’ve done this a bunch while travelling, but only a couple times in the city I actually live in.
3) Travelling. Don’t get me wrong, travelling is a lot of fun with other people. But by yourself it’s also awesome because then you get to do exactly what you want to do, and you don’t have to worry about or be responsible for the person/people you’re with. Some of my favourite parts of when I went to Italy were when I went off on my own adventures. I loved exploring Barcelona when I was there by myself, and I also had tons of fun wandering the streets of New York City alone. Go at your own pace. Be safe, of course, and be careful about which places you travel to alone – but definitely take a shot at this. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and how you deal with sticky situations.
4) Attending a conference. Conferences are a great opportunity to both learn and network. And ten to one, you won’t do much networking at all if you go with people you know. Make a point of meeting new people and you will come out of the conference with a bunch of new doors open to you.
5) Attending a class. Learn something new by taking a yoga class, photography class, pottery, painting… whatever your heart desires. It’s a nice bonding time to go to classes with others (such as when Westwood and I took aikido!), but you can also make new friends and truly appreciate what you’re learning when you go to the class without knowing anyone there.
What’s at the top of your list for things that you think are essential to do at least once by yourself?
OK, I’ve done those. The one I’ve probably done the least is eat in a restaurant alone. Funny though, I clearly remember the very few times I have. Being in another country, very far from the familiar, no phone, etc, truly alone was a freedom than I did not anticipate being so rich.
Good idea for a post, Sagan!
Agreed! We don’t really fully appreciate them until we experience them, I think.
Most of my restaurant-eating has been breakfasts or lunches – one day I intend on going to some kind of fancy restaurant for dinner by myself. I think that would be QUITE interesting.
It fascinates me while reading your article I can recall specific instances of these solo experiences in my own life, some of them from decades ago.
Movies – I’ve attended a few alone, either because I was very bored, (pre-internet) or was off during the day. I would rather experience a movie with a my wife or a friend.
Meals – I have to respectfully disagree with you on this one. I HATE eating out alone. I’d much rather share the dining experience with someone, especially while traveling. Although, I have to admit I enjoy eating at home alone, while watching a movie. I know… how strange it that?
Travel – I’ve made a number of very memorable trips alone, you are spot on with this one. When I was single, I used to think it’d be great to go on a family vacation. I’m now married with a teenager, I’m lucky she travels well, and my wife is great about my obsession with military museums. Although, I have to honestly say that I preferred going solo, at least on car trips.
Conferences: I think this depends on the individual, I tend to be a quiet and observant around strangers, so if I’m with someone I’m comfortable with I tend to open up to others with more ease. I see your point though.
Classes: I agree completely. Broadening your mind is great either with a friend or on your own.
Thanks for a great article!
When it comes to meals, I don’t necessarily PREFER eating out alone to eating with others – in fact, I think I’m with you that I prefer to have other people around when I go out to eat – but I still think it’s important to eat out at a restaurant at least once alone!
Thanks for the comment!
I agree. These are all things to be enjoyed alone for unique reasons. I have done some traveling alone lately for work and pleasure and altho I prefer to travel with my husband it is a unique and freeing thing to travel alone…linger on things that interest you and be a bit self indulgent. I think it makes you that much more comfortable in your own skin to do these things alone. 🙂
Nope, being alone sucks, ha.
Realistically though, as I adjust to it, it gets easier.