Ten emotional things I wish I knew when I first started my healthy journey
As per several requests, here is my list of the top ten things I wish I’d known would happen to me emotionally when I started getting healthier:
1) You’re on your own. There’s a lot of people out there – often people close to you – who will mock you, roll their eyes at you, and tell you to “just relax already! Now come on, eat the Chinese take-out/cookie the size of your face/cheeseburger/poutine.” Most people fear change, and it confuses them when you start to change your lifestyle. You also might deal with some jealousy if your body is changing for the better and they feel guilty for not making similar physical changes (which is entirely subjective).
2) Disordered eating can affect anyone. When I first began my healthy journey, it was honestly about health. Then I went through a horrible break-up, became depressed, and threw myself into improving my health and looks. It quickly became more about looks than health and I went through a process of over-exercising, under-eating, orthorexia, and over-eating, before arriving at the point where I am now (eating just the right amount and feeling happy about food). The point is, I never thought I’d go through all of that. I never thought I’d be susceptible to all of that. When I was younger, I didn’t even really believe in depression. Experiencing it first-hand made me realize just how very real it is (and don’t worry, I recovered from depression completely a couple years ago and am quite healthy in mind :)).
3) There’s a great support system out there for you. This might sound contradictory to #1 on this list, but it’s not – you’re going to often be alone, but there is a support system out there for you… like the health blogging community! I have found so much positive encouragement, support, and advice (both solicited and unsolicited, and all of it more than welcome) from this community. It’s tough to be a “pioneer”, but that’s what many of us have to be when seeking a healthier lifestyle. By finding other pioneers making their way on the same journey, we can build a community and make real change – for ourselves and for others.
4) “Health” can really take over your life. Whether it’s in the negative form of disordered eating, the positive form of spending lots of time with your support system, or the semi-neutral form of simply the lifestyle choices that you’re making, once you start thinking about health it might be in the forefront of your mind. You start to rearrange your life to fit in with a healthy exercise schedule, to make sure that there are nutritious options for food, and you start incorporating ways to stay healthy mentally (for example, taking baths, meditating, or reading – all of which are alone-time activities). This really is a lifestyle, and that means you may have to make some dramatic changes in your routine.
5) Nutrition and fitness aren’t the only kind of health out there. I made changes first with fitness and then with nutrition when I was initially looking to get healthy. Soon after, however, I began to realize that health transfers to all areas of life: finances, social activities, mental health, keeping your home healthy, environmental health; the lot. And that’s why I wrote a book about it. Health is a work in progress: you can always improve it and make more changes to different areas of your life. Nutrition and fitness are just a small part – a very important part, of course, but there is so much more that we can make healthier in our lives.
6) You won’t be able to accomplish every healthy goal you have, and that’s okay. Part of the joy of the goal – and some would argue, the most important part of the goal – is the journey itself, rather than the end accomplishment. Even if you don’t complete every goal you set out to do, you’ll still learn something and that’s what really counts.
7) It’s easy to use food and exercise as a scapegoat when you don’t want to deal with your emotional issues. I, like many others, transfer my stress to food and exercise. If it means that you’re staying active instead of lashing out at someone or to keep yourself energized, that’s a good thing! But if you’re restricting food or over-eating food on a regular basis, or if you find yourself exercising to the point that it’s preventing you from living, then it’s time to re-evaluate what you’re doing and perhaps seek some help.
8 ) It might be difficult for your loved ones to accept the changes you make to long-standing traditions. This was a big one for me. My extended family made comments for years about how I wasn’t eating my usual turkey leg etc. for family holidays. They still make the occasional comment, but it’s lessened, which I very much appreciate. It’s awkward and sometimes frustrating to constantly have people commenting on your food choices, especially when you have experienced disordered eating in the past, and especially when you really value their input (such as between siblings). I prefer if people don’t comment on or judge me for what and how I eat. If they want my advice, if they want to talk about nutrition in general, or if they want to discuss their eating habits, I’m fine with that. But I’m not about to start commenting on their food choices in a judgemental way, and I’d like it if they grant me the same courtesy.
9) You’ll never know everything there is to know about living healthy, and your health philosophies will change as your understanding and knowledge grow. I thought that I’d never agree with a vegan diet. It wasn’t until I tried it for myself that I realized just how nutritious (and how unhealthy, depending on the food choices you make!) it can be. Doing various health challenges constantly reminds me how much more there is to learn, how much I don’t know, and how much there is to discuss with others. It’s wonderful.
10) There’s always someone else out there who has gone through something very similar to you. Yes, you might be alone. Yes, there’s a support system if you know where to look. And yes: no matter how rough it gets, there’s bound to be at least one other person who has been through something similar to you, and who can offer you their advice, encouragement, support, or even just that simple statement of I’ve been there too. Take the opportunity to learn from what others have gone through in addition to how you can handle your personal situation.
What emotional changes have you gone through since trying to improve your health? What have you learned?
That’s a very good and useful list, Sagan! It’s obvious that you have given this a lot of thought and looked deeply at what you have experienced. Thanks for sharing this!
This was awesome! Gave me lots to think about as I’m beginning my weight loss journey. Thank you!
I agree with all of these, Sagan! Especially number 7. That’s been the hardest thing to change in my life – whenever something would go wrong, or something happened that made me sad or angry, I ALWAYS dealt with it through diet and exercise. At first it seems like a great idea because it’s “healthy,” right? But I’m still learning how to deal with my emotions directly, rather than cover things up with food or over-exercise.
So true – we can be healthy in body but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the mind if completely 100% at its healthiest!
I agree with all but number 4. I think that at some point it should become a natural part of your life as much as anything else.
Sorry – I should have been a bit more clear with that one. I entirely agree that it should become as natural a part of your life as anything else, BUT that still means that your LIFESTYLE is going to be totally different than it maybe used to. For example, in junior high I would be regularly eating microwave popcorn and salted sunflower seeds as a snack (the kinds that are loaded with trans fats and weird chemicals), and I’d be happy to go to a fast food joint for dinner… whereas now, my lifestyle means that I have to go shopping more frequently for fresh produce (because a bag of lettuce obviously doesn’t have as long of a shelf life as a box of microwave popcorn), and I’m also likely to object if I’m out with friends and they want to go to an unhealthy restaurant.
I don’t think that health taking over your life is necessarily a bad thing at all. It just becomes a natural part of how you live your life… but it does mean that you’re living your life differently. Like with being more environmentally-friendly! You have to remember things like to take a go-mug and cloth bags around with you, or you might have to plan how you’ll get around in a day (*cough* in the summer *cough*) without a car etc.
Does that make more sense?
Sure does! I pretty much figured you meant something along those lines anyways.
Gosh I need to kick this winter car habit somehow 🙁
I don’t even walk most of the way to work anymore; I stop at my mum’s place and get a ride from there. Winter = wimps! 🙂
Love this Sagan.. honestly, a friggin lifelong learning journey!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
Amen to number 5. I find my mental state strongly affects my nutrition and exercise. I have to focus on all areas of my life to truly feel and be healthy. I think that is why I love travel so much. It does wonders for my mentality and self awareness.
Still loving your challenge this month. I’ve been trying all kinds of different videos and focusing on new stuff.
Thanks for this post Sagan! It’s nice to see the parallel between the physical and the emotional aspects of the journey. I find it’s mostly an emotional investment, and then the physical aspects follow or are secondary effects. So long as your mind is in it, the body acts in response!
I like your first point: you are on your own. The motivation must come from within and no on but yourself can make the changes. That is so important to figure out.
Thanks!!!!
I love this list!! Esp. number two! Do you think that blogging contributed to that at all?
Yes, I certainly think that blogging contributed to it. I “dabbled” with restricted eating for about a month, several months before I started blogging, and then after I’d been blogging for a little while I found myself dipping into disordered eating.
I wouldn’t necessarily BLAME blogging, but I guess the extra exposure to other people experiencing nutrition/fitness/body image issues (positive and negative) has an impact whether we register it consciously or not.
So… yes. I think that social media and the Internet definitely contributed. I’d be really interested to know how blogging/social media/the Internet have affected other people in that way…